My wish comes true! (*_+)

today..
someone that i admirer has sitting besides me..
not too close but i can see him directly on my right sides..
i can't stop myself from glancing at him..
since i know this is will be the first and perhaps the last times i have chance to sit besides him..
i know maybe some of you(who read this posts) know who is he..
and maybe some of you will says that i'm "SS"..
but you know what??
i don't care..
this is my blog anywhere..
s0 it is up to me to write anything about how i feel towards someone..
and i admit that i likes to see him but it doesn't mean that i likes him or loves him..
it is just i likes to his face..
huhuhuhuhu................................(*_+)

because of HIM!

because of him..
i know how it feels to be in love..
i know how it feels to be in one-sided love..
and because of him i know how it feels being dumped by someone..

and because of him....
i almost decided to fall in love with someone whom had same gender with me
OMG! (God please forgive me)
because of him, i started to become a rough person, i don't want to be looks like a weak person..
so i had changed the way i talking to boys..i use rough words, and sometimes loud voice..
because of him, i am afraid to fall in love again..
that is why whenever i'm crushed on someone, i try my hard to avoid the feelings...
and whenever i know there is someone who likes me, i try to stay away from him..
and the worse is, i might make that guy hate me..
i know that guy will hurt, but my heart also will hurt..
but there is nothing that i can do about it...
my fear to fall in love again caused me to act like this.....................

i don't hate love...
i'm just fear to loved someone and to be loved by someone...
but i'm sure, one day i will manage to face this fear....
If God Willing!

CiNtA, mOhAbBat,SaRaNgHae,Ai,LoVe??

ada antara rakan-rakan ak yang da bertunang, berkahwin..
dan kebanyakan daripada mereka sedang menjalin hubungan atau bahasa inggerisnya,
"in a relationship"..

how bout me??
the answer is..................................................................................................................................................
SINGLE!

sejujur-jujurnye..
ak da takut utk terlibat dalam cinta cintun nie..
yang melibatkan insan yang bergelar kekasih..
ak takut terluka tapi yang paling ak takut adalah ak yg akan menyebabkan seseorang itu terluka..
believe me, melukakan lebih sukar daripada terluka..
ak pernah melaluinya..
ak pernah menghancurkan hati seseorang..
mungkin kerana pada waktu itu,ak masih mentah..
namun,sehingga kini semua kenangan lalu telah terbawa-bawa dalam hidup ak..

sebab itu,
ak selalu bercakap secara kasar dengan sume budak lelaki yang sebaya dgn ku..
kerana ak takut,ak takut ak yg akan 'jatuh hati' pada mereka atau mereka yang akan tersalah tafsir..
biarpun, ibu selalu nasihatkan ak agr lebih berlembut, tapi ak.....
ak xleh lakukannya..ak takut,i'm sorry m0m!
bukan xde prasaan utk mencintai n dicintai....
tapi ak rasa, bukan sekarang...
NOT NOW!

namun andai hati ini telah terbuka n bersedia menerima segala pahit n manis percintaan,
ak xkan menolak kehadirannya..
namun yang lebih utama adalah..........
PELAJARAN!
SEGULUNG IJAZAH SARJANA MUDA!
KERJA!
and then,
LOVE!
MARRIED!
CHILDREN!
HAPPY FAMILY!


but for those had already in a relationship,engaged or even married,
i will pray for your happiness!
p/s:law da nk kawin 2, jgn lpe undang diri ini!