My wish comes true! (*_+)

today..
someone that i admirer has sitting besides me..
not too close but i can see him directly on my right sides..
i can't stop myself from glancing at him..
since i know this is will be the first and perhaps the last times i have chance to sit besides him..
i know maybe some of you(who read this posts) know who is he..
and maybe some of you will says that i'm "SS"..
but you know what??
i don't care..
this is my blog anywhere..
s0 it is up to me to write anything about how i feel towards someone..
and i admit that i likes to see him but it doesn't mean that i likes him or loves him..
it is just i likes to his face..
huhuhuhuhu................................(*_+)

because of HIM!

because of him..
i know how it feels to be in love..
i know how it feels to be in one-sided love..
and because of him i know how it feels being dumped by someone..

and because of him....
i almost decided to fall in love with someone whom had same gender with me
OMG! (God please forgive me)
because of him, i started to become a rough person, i don't want to be looks like a weak person..
so i had changed the way i talking to boys..i use rough words, and sometimes loud voice..
because of him, i am afraid to fall in love again..
that is why whenever i'm crushed on someone, i try my hard to avoid the feelings...
and whenever i know there is someone who likes me, i try to stay away from him..
and the worse is, i might make that guy hate me..
i know that guy will hurt, but my heart also will hurt..
but there is nothing that i can do about it...
my fear to fall in love again caused me to act like this.....................

i don't hate love...
i'm just fear to loved someone and to be loved by someone...
but i'm sure, one day i will manage to face this fear....
If God Willing!

CiNtA, mOhAbBat,SaRaNgHae,Ai,LoVe??

ada antara rakan-rakan ak yang da bertunang, berkahwin..
dan kebanyakan daripada mereka sedang menjalin hubungan atau bahasa inggerisnya,
"in a relationship"..

how bout me??
the answer is..................................................................................................................................................
SINGLE!

sejujur-jujurnye..
ak da takut utk terlibat dalam cinta cintun nie..
yang melibatkan insan yang bergelar kekasih..
ak takut terluka tapi yang paling ak takut adalah ak yg akan menyebabkan seseorang itu terluka..
believe me, melukakan lebih sukar daripada terluka..
ak pernah melaluinya..
ak pernah menghancurkan hati seseorang..
mungkin kerana pada waktu itu,ak masih mentah..
namun,sehingga kini semua kenangan lalu telah terbawa-bawa dalam hidup ak..

sebab itu,
ak selalu bercakap secara kasar dengan sume budak lelaki yang sebaya dgn ku..
kerana ak takut,ak takut ak yg akan 'jatuh hati' pada mereka atau mereka yang akan tersalah tafsir..
biarpun, ibu selalu nasihatkan ak agr lebih berlembut, tapi ak.....
ak xleh lakukannya..ak takut,i'm sorry m0m!
bukan xde prasaan utk mencintai n dicintai....
tapi ak rasa, bukan sekarang...
NOT NOW!

namun andai hati ini telah terbuka n bersedia menerima segala pahit n manis percintaan,
ak xkan menolak kehadirannya..
namun yang lebih utama adalah..........
PELAJARAN!
SEGULUNG IJAZAH SARJANA MUDA!
KERJA!
and then,
LOVE!
MARRIED!
CHILDREN!
HAPPY FAMILY!


but for those had already in a relationship,engaged or even married,
i will pray for your happiness!
p/s:law da nk kawin 2, jgn lpe undang diri ini!

thanks everyone!

finally today i get a cake to cut and 2 candles to blow...
huhu..
thanks to ila,lydia,prue,adel n tya for celebrating my birthday even though my birthday was yesterday...
and thank you for those who still wishes my birthday today...even it is late, but i really appreciate it! at least i know that u guys did not forget my birthday..

BETTER LATE THAN NEVER!

LOVE YOU ALL!!!
MUAH!(*_+)

finally i'm 20!

okay..
honestly, this year there is no celebration for my birthday..
no cake, no candle to blow...
but its okay...
i'm reached adult age anyway...
so, it does not bother me..

but, today i get more wishes from my friends,family,relatives,cousins compared the past years..
and i get clothes (blue color) from my parents!
i really like it!
thanks ibu! thanks ayah!


but there are a few of my friends did not wish my birthday..
perhaps they forgotten...
but, it really touched me when someone that a not so close to me, remember and wishes my birthday even though i don't even know when is his birthday..
anyway, thank you!

so sad,cries inside!

today, during english class, bel..
i share a story about you with my classmates and our dear lecturer..
i tell them about your accident..
how i feel when i visit you in ICU ward..
our memories and also how i feel when i got a phone call from anati, about your death..

i try to calm myself, stopping myself from crying..
and i success! so unbelievable!
but they don't know, deep in my heart, i cries.................
i really sad today..
i keep remember you..
and all of sudden, i keep remember all people around me that already die..
all this things
almost make me crazy..

i pray to God to place all of you in heaven..
and i pray..
God, please take my life instead of take my parents and my little sister life!
i can't bear to lose them..
they are so important in my life!
so please, hear me and fulfill it!

Paku Yang Lekat Di Hati (majalah SOLUSI)

Pada suatu hari seorang ibu menasihati anaknya..
Dia berkata, "Jangan suka menyakiti hati orang lain dengan kata-kata kita."
"Saya tahu itu salah, ibu. Tapi saya akan cepat minta maaf. Itu satu kelebihan juga ibu," jawab si anak.
"Tetapi perbuatanmu menyakitkan hati orang, anakku,"kata ibu lagi.
"Saya rasa tidak. Selepas minta maaf, segala-galanya langsai ibu."
Si ibu berfikir. Apakh cara utk menyedarkan anaknya drpd sifat buruk ini?
"Kalau begitu, kamu ikut cadangan ibu ini. Moga kamu akan fahami maksud ibu nanti.
Tanpa membantah anak itu pun setuju.
"Begini, setiap kali kamu menyakiti hati seseorang, kamu ketuk sebilah paku ke dinding ini. Kemudian, setelah kamu meminta maaf, kamu cabut semula paku yang kamu ketuk itu!"
"Baik, ibu."

********************
Beberapa bulan berlalu. Mereka sama-sama menghadap dinding tersebut.
"Lihat ibu, mana ada paku yang tinggal?" ujar si anak dengan bangga. "Memang ramai yg telah saya sakiti hati mereka, tetapi semuanya telah memaafkan saya setelah saya meminta maaf."
"Betul kamu sudah meminta maaf dan mereka telah memaafkan, tapi sedarkah kamu..?"
"Maksud ibu?"
"Cuba kamu lihat dinding ni. Semuanya sudah tebuk, calar dan 'berkematu'. Itulah hati-hati yang telah kamu sakiti. Walaupun kamu sudah dimaafkana, tetapi kesan perbuatan buruk kamu itu masih berbekas di hati mereka. Hati yang dilukai ada parutnya, anakku..."

Si anak merenung dinding yang tebuk-tebuk itu. Sudah tidak indah lagi seperti asalnya. Begitukah hati-hati orang yang telah aku sakiti?

PENGAJARAN: Meminta maaf adalah perbuatan terpuji. Tetapi berusaha agar kita tidak terpaksa meminta maaf (maksudnya, menghindarkan diri daripada menyakiti hati orang lain) jauh lebih terpuji. Ya, luka di hati itu lebih sukar diubat berbanding luka di tangan.

~kepada sesiapa yg membaca blog ini, harap dimaafkan segala dosa-dosa yang pernah diri ini lakukan terhadap kalian. Meskipun ada parut yang tertinggal, hanya kemaafan yg mampu diri ini pinta.....

~MEMORIES IN UITM SRI ISKANDAR~

sebenrnye ak post nie kt blog ak, nie juz copy n paste...


hye every0ne! ni hao!

in this post i'm going to share with u those people who are so meant to me..
they did influenced and brighten up my life in uitm perak..
next week, i'm going to continue my study at new campus,uitm puncak alam in degree program..
but i'm not going to say goodbye because all of u were always be in my heart forever!
trust me!




from left: Nur Hazirah bt Abd. Hamid, Nuratikah Farah Fasihah bt Mohd Ismail,(nama yg paling panjang skali dalam bilik B1101), Haziqah bt Sudar (nama yg paling ringkas n mudh diingat)

they were the first people that i met since the first day i came to this campus because they were my roommates..

all these pictures were captured when we were hang out together for the 1st time and perhaps for the last time..
-masih ak igt lg, kteowg tebalkn mke semata-mata nk amic pic nie( dpn cermin kt tempt pakaian)..
-then,amik pictures kt mcd..kteowg taw rmi yg perhati..but wh0 cares??lantak k0rg r nk pkr ape!






ziqah n tikah with anuar,ketua jpk Cempaka Sari..

















me n zirah also with him...........














sempat lg berposing dlm hujan..
walau basah bju di uatnye, but yg penting kite ENJOY!!








0k..td psl roommates ak dr part 1-part 2..now, psl geng ak merangkap classmates ak merangkap roommates ak part 3..sem terakhir ak d uitm perak.........



from left:Nor Zahirah bt M. Khairul Munawar n Nur Dalilah bt Mohd Yusoff.........


this sweet girl was also one of my best frenz...
her name is Nur Syahidah bt Abu Bakar..
she was our driver....huhu.......
she inspired me to get driving license..
thanks a lot!















night of faizin...melaram habis! xleh blah!!

these pictures have been captured on sem 3..
cam taw2 jew sem nie adlh sem terakhir kite
berempat bersama-sama.........

PEOPLE WHO'LL LEAVE UITM PERAK

either it is only me or both of us will leaving..ila still waiting her applications to continue stay at uitm perak........

PEOPLE WHO'LL STAY AT UITM PERAK

front: from left,Norazera n Aisyah.........

ketiadaan k0wg pasti akn terasa..its so painful but we have our own path,right??
we just plan for everything but we have to accept our fate when it is times...........
last but not least, I DO REALLY LOVE U GIRLS!!
U MIGHT FORGET ME BUT I'LL NEVER FORGET U!!

TERIMA KASIH (*_+)

Cinta Pertamaku
terima kasih kerana pernah hadir dalam hidup aku..
terima kasih di atas persahabatanmu selama dua tahun.
terima kasih kerana pernah menjadi kawan rapat ku,budak lelaki pertama yang rapat denganku..
terima kasih di atas keprihatinanmu sepanjang persahabatan kita..
terima kasih kerana selalu membantuku dalam pelajaran..
terima kasih kerana telah mengajar aku erti cinta,rindu dan sengsara..
terima kasih di atas perselisihan pendapat mu dengan ku,kerana dari itu telah mengajarku untuk banyak bersabar dan mengawal kemarahanku..
dan sekarang,terima kasih di atas kebencian mu terhadap diriku,walaupun tidak ku tahu kesalahanku...
namun,aku tetap mendoakan yang terbaik untuk dirimu kerana kebaikan mu tetap tidak dapat aku lupakan..

Cinta Keduaku..
terima kasih di atas cintamu..
terima kasih di atas panggilan-panggilanmu dan mesej-mesejmu..
terima kasih kerana sudi menemani menonton "World Cup"walaupun hanya melalui sms..
terima kasih kerana mengejut ku dari tidur untuk bersahur sewaktu di bulan puasa..
sesungguhnya kamu amat baik terhadap diriku,namun aku meminta maaf kerana akulah yang mengakhiri hubungan kita..kerana pada waktu itu aku amat tertekan dengan keadaan di sekelilingku..
dan terima kasih kerana memberiku peluang yang kedua,walaupun hanya sekadar kawan biasa..
aku d0akan kau bahagia dengan dirinya buat selama-lamanya..


kepada dua insan ini,aku bersyukur kerana pernah mengenali diri kalian..kerana melalui kalian,aku banyak belajar tentang dunia lelaki dan tentang cinta..dan semuanya semakin mendewasakan diri ini dan membuatkan aku lebih berhati-hati dalam mencari cinta manusia..